Friday, February 5, 2010

Love

Love - with a capital 'L' - the spiritual kind - what is it and how does one know it is not the worldly kind? Sometimes just saying what it is not has to suffice - that can be frustrating. Experiencing Brahman is indescribable because once described - It's essence is lost. Experiencing It seems like the only way out. This may have been more in previous centuries since only a select few were blessed with the experience. Today experiencing Bliss is possible for us all - without exception - just like the sages and prophets have been telling us for ages.

Most mornings as I sit in silent meditation I am enveloped by a sensation of openness - as if everything is flowing through me - in one way and out another. It is as if I am in a single vibration with everything else around me. The only thing I am aware of is a sense of being Love. The sensation, the vibration the flow all seem to be showing, saying, feeling Love. It is a new sensation and yet not a strange one. When I felt it for the first time I knew what it was. Till then I understood it and I knew that when I connect with another in Love it feels great but now I know Love and understand why it feels so great.

Expansion is a great feeling. It is both inclusive and singular in nature. Oneness makes me a part of It; at the same time I know I am. These sensations (which they are really not) stay with me for some time and yet I can see everything as separate from me. The seeing and the experiencing are different in nature and yet the same. It is as if a needle has gone through a fabric and made the thread it was pulling behind it a part of the fabric and then left both the fabric and the thread behind. Something has infused me with a sense of Oneness and yet left me experiencing separateness.

Change is the only constant in the physical realm (although many would want us to believe that man cannot change for the better - remember the once a liar always a liar, once a rapist always a rapist claims?) - nothing is sustainable without change and yet Oneness is unchanging. It is the base without which this changing world would not be possible. Oneness is what makes change possible. Some changes come about by choices we make, others are out of our control, but changes are happening all the time. I have changed over the years. I have striven to become 'a better person,' driven by what society defined as better - changes brought on by choice. I realize now that one change that happens and lasts is the experience of Love. I am referring to a progression from 'being in love', to 'being Love.' Being Love is an essential element of Stability of the Mind. Love is incapable of fear, hatred, indifference or sorrow - to be one of these it has to change and Love is, so it cannot change.

First there was the love that I felt towards family, friends, and possessions. I was in love and expected to be loved in return. The word love is erroneous here - it should be attachment. I was attached to friends, family and possessions. This attachment took me through peaks and valleys of emotions that made the experience very superficial while making it appear deep.The depth was one of despair - this cannot be love. Then I began to experience love for myself. This was definitely a foreign feeling. I grew up believing that loving oneself was a selfish act - and being selfish was taboo. After being exposed to Western Spiritual teachers I realized that without loving myself first it was impossible to love others. Once I started introspecting to figure out what about me was lovable my journey towards Truth and Love took on a different meaning. I understood the meaning of unconditional love. Practicing it calls for conscious effort. Unconditional love requires giving up being judgmental, it means going beyond right and wrong. Being raised to value righteousness made being accepting of everything difficult. As I learned to accept myself I began to accept others too. As I grew to love myself I learned to love others too. It is easier in theory than to put it into practice. Living in solitude has made it possible to grasp the true essence of Love but I am still not able to stay true to it. The ego is a believer that separateness is the way to happiness and that there is a distinct place for right and wrong or at least for good and better. More specifically the ego believes that some deserve to be loved and others not.

Love feels right, and it brings me closer to experiencing Oneness or Truth or God - which are all one and the same thing. I cherish Love and want it to become my only way of life - simply because it opens up a portal into the realm of the Spirit that brings Bliss. The ego has its place in my life - it keeps me alive in the worldly sense so I can experience God, and that I do not want to part with yet. So I care for my physical needs using my ego to judge good and bad and then I tuck it away so I can simply Be. I love Love for love itself.

46 years ago - today.

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