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Journey of Doubt

Doubt is a curse that we bring upon ourselves. We only enhance that curse when we begin to believe that our unfounded doubt is the truth, because then we go out of our way to establish that the doubt is nothing but the truth.
Doubt arises either when we refuse to believe that man is inherently good or when we have been fooled by many often. I would rather be fooled by some people than doubt everyone around me. I choose to believe in the goodness of my brethren - until I have proof positive that they have done evil. Also, one evil or wrong done does not make the person evil. I refuse to judge the entire life of a person on one wrong-doing. At the same time - given the opportunity to do good, if one continues to do wrong, I will and do distance myself. I choose not to hate, but I find it very difficult to like such a person, because when I think of him/her it brings out the negative in me and a lot of my time is wasted in trying to counter that negative.
I deal with doubts by questioni…

Lesson Learned

Walking down memory lane today and I was struck by how far I have come and how much I owe to life experiences and relationships. Today, though, I want to write about one lesson in particular that I have learned through many experiences but very poignantly through the experience of sickness and death - of my loved ones.

My first brush with illness came at birth. My sister - born 5 years before me - suffered from epileptic seizures and they happened everyday. This experience was definitely more severe for my parents and my brother, but it was an experience that molded me more than most other childhood experiences did. I saw her suffer for the first 8 years of my life - day in and day out - till eventually her body could not take the assault of the seizures and gave in. She died at 13.

The next experience was with cancer - it took my hero away from me. Dad suffered, thankfully for a very short period of time and was gone. I was 18.

The next was the most recent event, when my husband was…

Being Alone

Many are curious about how 'being alone' feels. I am not alone. Relationships that I have built over my lifetime have a depth that goes beyond the need for physical presence. I realized that, for the first time, when I moved out of Canada and away from the physical presence of my sons. For 25 years everything I did, had to take my sons into account. Any decisions I made started with, "what about my precious boys," then came other aspects of the decision making process. For the first little while away from them, they were still my preliminary consideration, but soon I realized that I had to let go if I wanted them to be as complete as I was. I had to think about life without them so I could enjoy and not begrudge them their independence. It was difficult to see them struggle through difficult times and simply watch, but I knew that life, and not I, would be their greatest teacher. I relegated myself to be their soft place if they needed it. Then one day I realized th…

My Book

Life has a method. A predictable method of teaching one about oneself. There is this book of Life that we all have to read. We all have the same author but each of us has a unique set of chapters depending on the lessons we take from the previous one. In the process we all grow. Some of us flourish and some of us don't but each of us is totally responsible for our own success in life.

Life has given me some hard knocks and over the last few years the knocks have become easier to bear. I have learned that the knocks were actually not being given to me, but were given for me. If I simply examined the event and let it lead me towards the true me I invariably opened a hidden cell within, that showed me something new about me - but I found out something even more important than that. I, the person, who only I truly know can never be changed. If I respond in a way that is inherently me then every challenge I face I can conquer and be happy about. If I respond in a way that is not authe…

Thank you!!

5000 views so far. I will be back to write on a regular basis soon. Have to spend some time learning new things for a while first. New language, new city, new job, new friends, new life. Writing is my go to place during good times and bad and gives me the most joy and solace depending on what I need. I love sharing my writing with others and hope my readers like my word pictures. Through the silence, words creep out onto my fingers and thence onto the screen giving voice to ideas and thoughts which would otherwise most often remain hidden. Thank heavens for this medium of expression.

Take care all. Will be back soon and more often.

Homemaking!

When things and money become life’s motivation we lose touch with what makes us human. Not that we change inherently, just that a heavy veil seems to cover everything good about us, as our focus is for wealth which is inherently transient and volatile. Being wealthy materially, does bring about a sense of security; and poverty is very stressful, so material wealth is important and need not be shunned, but making it the number one priority is self destructive. When one begins to identify with money, status and things the important human qualities like kindness, fairness, inclusiveness are measured through a mind calibrated to count numbers. We stop valuing intangibles and devalue love and care in the process. 

A wife who puts all her energy and time into making a home for her ‘successful’ husband is at best someone to be carried as a burden or at worst a chattel who is dispensable. It is only when she is thrown away that her true value is appreciated, by which time she has already been …