Saturday, August 30, 2014

Being Alone

Many are curious about how 'being alone' feels. I am not alone. Relationships that I have built over my lifetime have a depth that goes beyond the need for physical presence. I realized that, for the first time, when I moved out of Canada and away from the physical presence of my sons. For 25 years everything I did, had to take my sons into account. Any decisions I made started with, "what about my precious boys," then came other aspects of the decision making process. For the first little while away from them, they were still my preliminary consideration, but soon I realized that I had to let go if I wanted them to be as complete as I was. I had to think about life without them so I could enjoy and not begrudge them their independence. It was difficult to see them struggle through difficult times and simply watch, but I knew that life, and not I, would be their greatest teacher. I relegated myself to be their soft place if they needed it. Then one day I realized that this soft place is mutual. My boys are all grown up and are my haven where I go to when I feel anxious or depressed and joyful or excited.

Their physical presence is irrelevant. I feel connected to them no matter what the distance. That was when I examined the rest of my relationships and now know that the soul connection (or whatever one may call it) is common for all relationships. How connected I am to one may differ from how connected I feel towards another but there is an almost tangible connection that is wonderful to experience. Technology makes it a lot easier to enhance the experience and I consider it one of life's greatest blessings. It comes with its disadvantages but the good, telephones and the web brings into my life, far outweighs any negatives.

I am loving life doing what I want when I want to. I am living a life independently and with no one depending on me for anything at a personal level. This is unique to me and an experience everyone deserves to have. I have had a great life so far. There were ups and downs and these have made me who I am today. People I love have helped me every step of the way and have become intertwined with my life as, I know, I have become with theirs. These bonds have nothing to do with the material world and so I am 'wirelessly connected' to my world. I am in the presence of many at all times, never alone. I am grateful to all my nearest and dearest ones. 

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