Showing posts from January, 2010


It has been a challenging week with the addition of Insulin to my treatment. I was first diagnosed with Diabetes almost 12 years ago. Even then it was perchance and the doctor was surprised that I was functioning normally in spite of the unbelievably high blood sugar levels. He did not put me on insulin then since my body had adjusted so well to the high sugar levels and insulin could shock my system. He started me on tablets and have been on different concoctions ever since. Eventually insulin has become part of the regimen. Adjusting the dose to bring balance is the challenge. I was started on the long acting once a day injection at the lowest possible dose. Am at 6 times that now plus the short acting kind three times a day and have still not come down to normal levels. The journey continues with increasing doses each day. This is why I chose to postpone the meditation course. I am glad I did. I will be able to enjoy it more in June when the sugars are in balance.

At first I was oka…


The mind is a busy beaver - building dams protecting itself from imaginary attacks. Yet it knows that it is it's own and only enemy. The mind is powerful and controls it's own joys but for some reason it loses sight of this and scatters it's powers away. Once the mind has grasped it's true capacity there comes about a sense of equanimity that is wondrous to say the least.

Meditation brings the mind back to it's natural state after all the curves that life throws its way. I had a rough week health-wise. The blood sugar is not doing as well as I was hoping and have resigned myself to taking insulin. The timing has a message I clearly needed to hear. For a few months now I have been planning to travel to Canada for the Vipassana 10 days training course. I was supposed to fly out on this coming Sunday. I had planned two full days with loved ones before going into silence and then one day on my return from meditation before flying back home. I was excited and was hoping…

Inherent Goodness

For years I have known that there is an inherent goodness in all of us. This is not a belief, it is a knowing. Most of my loved ones - family and friends - have always said I am naive to think this way. I have never quite agreed with them, but I did try to see things from a different perspective - theirs. If I shut my inherent knowing out then it is easy to believe that there is so much evil in the world. Even people like Maya Angelou talk about, 'First time someone shows you who they are, believe them.' The basic premise being that people are incapable of changing - for the better.

I know this is not true. The only thing necessary is the desire to change. If I can see my behavior as an error in ways I can correct it. If I am labeled as a liar, or a rapist, or a thief and begin to believe I am that then I also begin to believe that I am beyond repair. There are many spiritual organizations that are visiting prisons to help rehabilitate inmates and they are showing positive resu…

Miracle Mindedness

When our ego tells us something is impossible and it happens the ego calls it a miracle. It does not want us to believe in Reality, you see. The existence of our ego is dependent on our believing that we are our body, mind and intellect. It's power lies in our believing that it is who we are and it collects as many forms as it possibly can to take us further away from our authentic self.

A good friend prompted this writing. She is looking for authenticity in her life and relationships. Who defines this authenticity? How do we define authentic? "Having the origin supported by unquestionable evidence." The origin and unquestionable evidence. Is this possible in the world of duality? Origin - what is original? Unquestionable - is there anything like that? It is all about perception. What came first - the egg or the chicken? Original is nothingness and what question can there be about nothing?

As I practice silence I can see my thoughts in a different light now. Thoughts are r…