Thursday, April 7, 2011

A Cleaned Mirror

I have had friends tell me that being around me brings a sense of calmness and peace within them. Then there are some who are intimidated by my presence and would rather not be around me. Maybe I only reflect what is within those around me.

Some who had placed me on a pedestal have since dropped me from it and I can see the reason why. My actions and words reflect my recognition of their deceptions and that was hard for them to accept. I forgive them for betraying my trust but choose to be more careful with them. They are uncomfortable speaking to me even though we are miles apart and yet I take a keen interest in their wellbeing.

Thinking back to my younger days I can appreciate this refusal to acknowledge wrong doing but I know now that any mistakes made in life must be acknowledged to ensure that such errors not be made again. Continuing to defend a wrong leads to the perpetration of more wrong doing. The only way to break that cycle is to acknowledge and admit the error so as to change direction, learn and move towards better choices. Life has taught me this lesson and I know that such learning cannot come without personal life experiences that help clean the mirror of the soul - the ego.

Giving others a second chance is an extension to forgiveness but it is equally important to act with caution so that similar indiscretions cannot have adverse effects. For example helping someone with fees to attend school only to find out that the money was used for something trivial instead requires that I be careful about giving more money to this person - but that need not stop me from being their mentor and well wisher, neither does it need me to stop helping another deserving person with money for school fees.

There is a God within me. He is not a silent witness to my thoughts and actions as I believed for a long time. He speaks through my conscience - it is for me to listen to this voice and direct my life decisions accordingly. It is for me to acknowledge my own errors and those of others. It is for me to forgive myself and others without making excuses or overlooking the wrong that was done. It means accepting it happened and moving forward with caution.

46 years ago - today.

 Seeing death so closely means never forgetting that moment and the events surrounding it. It is an experience that leaves a hole in the hea...