Saturday, August 30, 2014

Being Alone

Many are curious about how 'being alone' feels. I am not alone. Relationships that I have built over my lifetime have a depth that goes beyond the need for physical presence. I realized that, for the first time, when I moved out of Canada and away from the physical presence of my sons. For 25 years everything I did, had to take my sons into account. Any decisions I made started with, "what about my precious boys," then came other aspects of the decision making process. For the first little while away from them, they were still my preliminary consideration, but soon I realized that I had to let go if I wanted them to be as complete as I was. I had to think about life without them so I could enjoy and not begrudge them their independence. It was difficult to see them struggle through difficult times and simply watch, but I knew that life, and not I, would be their greatest teacher. I relegated myself to be their soft place if they needed it. Then one day I realized that this soft place is mutual. My boys are all grown up and are my haven where I go to when I feel anxious or depressed and joyful or excited.

Their physical presence is irrelevant. I feel connected to them no matter what the distance. That was when I examined the rest of my relationships and now know that the soul connection (or whatever one may call it) is common for all relationships. How connected I am to one may differ from how connected I feel towards another but there is an almost tangible connection that is wonderful to experience. Technology makes it a lot easier to enhance the experience and I consider it one of life's greatest blessings. It comes with its disadvantages but the good, telephones and the web brings into my life, far outweighs any negatives.

I am loving life doing what I want when I want to. I am living a life independently and with no one depending on me for anything at a personal level. This is unique to me and an experience everyone deserves to have. I have had a great life so far. There were ups and downs and these have made me who I am today. People I love have helped me every step of the way and have become intertwined with my life as, I know, I have become with theirs. These bonds have nothing to do with the material world and so I am 'wirelessly connected' to my world. I am in the presence of many at all times, never alone. I am grateful to all my nearest and dearest ones. 

Saturday, August 16, 2014

My Book

Life has a method. A predictable method of teaching one about oneself. There is this book of Life that we all have to read. We all have the same author but each of us has a unique set of chapters depending on the lessons we take from the previous one. In the process we all grow. Some of us flourish and some of us don't but each of us is totally responsible for our own success in life.

Life has given me some hard knocks and over the last few years the knocks have become easier to bear. I have learned that the knocks were actually not being given to me, but were given for me. If I simply examined the event and let it lead me towards the true me I invariably opened a hidden cell within, that showed me something new about me - but I found out something even more important than that. I, the person, who only I truly know can never be changed. If I respond in a way that is inherently me then every challenge I face I can conquer and be happy about. If I respond in a way that is not authentic then the challenge begins to eat at my inner peace and joy. To realign myself I have to respond from my inner wisdom. I am often reminded that in todays world authenticity is considered 'too good to be true.' :)

The 1st 10 chapters of my book are the most important ones and I end up 'reading' them very often. Here they are.

1. I love people unconditionally. I do not expect perfection from anyone. They may stop loving me but I never will. I will not let them walk over me but I will continue to love them - maybe from a distance.

2. I trust people blindly. It is only if I have absolute proof that someone is not trustworthy do I stop trusting them. I have been told this is naive. I would rather be naive than compromise with my inherent self.

3. I believe in forgiveness wholeheartedly. I do not forgive the wrong-doing but I let go of the hurt and pain the wrong has caused me because I have no intention of giving my power away. The earlier I forgive the sooner my power comes back to me.

4. The opinion of others about me does not matter. If someone says I am being dis-honest I do not try to convince them otherwise. It is more important for me to know that I am honest than for others to maybe think so.

5. I take my responsibilities seriously. I work with the best of intentions and have no problems owning up to mistakes and correcting them as I go. I am careful to not knowingly make the same mistake twice.

6. I refrain from judging others on hearsay and conjecture. If two people tell me opposing stories of the same event I never side with one over the other - unless of course I was there. I understand the power of perspective.

7. I know that wisdom is not directly proportionate to age - it is only directly proportionate to knowledge. The more I am willing to learn the wiser I get.

8. I cannot change anyone. :) I accept people the way they are. I may attempt to share some knowledge with them but eventually one can only change oneself, no one else.

9. It is important to build a strong character with all the traits that give me the strength to carry the weight of my own ego. If ego is not to take over I must overcome fear and for that, I must have an unshakeable character that can stand up to scrutiny anytime by anyone.

10. I am continuously on a learning curve. Right now my new lesson is French. Oui. 

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Thank you!!

5000 views so far. I will be back to write on a regular basis soon. Have to spend some time learning new things for a while first. New language, new city, new job, new friends, new life. Writing is my go to place during good times and bad and gives me the most joy and solace depending on what I need. I love sharing my writing with others and hope my readers like my word pictures. Through the silence, words creep out onto my fingers and thence onto the screen giving voice to ideas and thoughts which would otherwise most often remain hidden. Thank heavens for this medium of expression.

Take care all. Will be back soon and more often.