Sunday, July 20, 2014

Homemaking!

When things and money become life’s motivation we lose touch with what makes us human. Not that we change inherently, just that a heavy veil seems to cover everything good about us, as our focus is for wealth which is inherently transient and volatile. Being wealthy materially, does bring about a sense of security; and poverty is very stressful, so material wealth is important and need not be shunned, but making it the number one priority is self destructive. When one begins to identify with money, status and things the important human qualities like kindness, fairness, inclusiveness are measured through a mind calibrated to count numbers. We stop valuing intangibles and devalue love and care in the process. 

A wife who puts all her energy and time into making a home for her ‘successful’ husband is at best someone to be carried as a burden or at worst a chattel who is dispensable. It is only when she is thrown away that her true value is appreciated, by which time she has already been destroyed. The pain this half of the partnership feels cannot be appreciated because it is invisible in eyes that can only see  beauty in things. Ask a man what value he puts to her contribution and pat comes the response, “It is priceless!” No, it does not mean invaluable, it simply means there is no price to be paid for something that is not tangible, not visible, cannot be quantified, cannot be sold for money! 

This attitude is pervasive and is growing exponentially. Many women are having to stand up and shout out their contribution to family and home simply to claim their rightful identity. Others are leaving materially secure relationships to get away from the hurt. Wifehood, motherhood, homemaker-hood are legitimate quantifiable careers that must be valued because without these society will fall flat on its face. Most women take on these careers with as much gusto and aplomb as they do their paying jobs and yet their contribution at home is largely ignored and taken for granted. This is not because we cannot value our homes and families, it is because these values are superseded by the value of money and things. 

There must be a solution for this and I do not believe simply paying mothers and homemakers is it, because that will further devalue the person who never undertook these roles for tangibles! The payment will come automatically when a husband values his wife’s contribution in his success; when children value their mother’s unconditional love and when we, as a society, respect our relationships! As women we have an important role on this path and so must learn to appreciate ourselves and other women for their contribution to family life and so society. Let us first remove the veil of money and things from our own minds and recognize that family, home and relationships are defined not by the size of our homes or our investments but by how kind we are to our circle. Let us stand by one another whether we are financially independent or not and appreciate each other for being the nurturer, the teacher, the lover of the home! Let us teach our sons and daughters to value the intangibles that define relationships and show them how to use their careers as a means to spread love instead of a means of making money alone.

I am re-entering the workforce with an agenda that is very different from the one I had the first time around. I am doing it for me and for other women and I am hoping to raise awareness that we are not the weaker sex of society but the BETTER half of society and so we deserve BETTER! 


I appeal to my friends and family to evaluate the values they have and see if their lives are balanced. Are we living purposeful lives that make a difference to the lives of those less fortunate than us? Are we taking more from the Universe than we are giving in return? Are we contributing to making our environment better or are we contaminating it and corroding it? Are we raising families who stand by one another or are we isolating ourselves? Do we have a purpose in life or are we simply being born and dying with no lasting legacy that enhances the Universe? I appeal to you, that if necessary, re-align yourself so you can be strong, independent, progressive and productive. Generate a legacy of abundance and joy that is shared by many. Share your ideas and pull at least one other woman, child, animal, man close to you and together stand up for those who cannot or know not how. Together we can bring love and fairness back to the forefront. We can make money and things a means to survive so we can find our true selves and live harmoniously as a society and as individuals. Money is important but it is not everything. The downpayment may get you a house but does not a home make. :)

46 years ago - today.

 Seeing death so closely means never forgetting that moment and the events surrounding it. It is an experience that leaves a hole in the hea...