Saturday, December 5, 2009

My Relationship with Me

Now that life is no longer about the approval of those around me I am beginning to understand the tenets of relationships clearly. The one and only relationship that is of any value is the one with my True Self. All other relationships are based on values that are mutually workable for those within the relationship. The relationship with myself though is based only on Truth. Truth about the inherent Me and all other beings. The vibration that makes me and every being around me tick. The vibration I put out there is the vibration reflected back at me.

This is a beautiful revelation. This morning I had the opportunity to deal with a few people and found out the joy that comes out of being in the presence of Oneness. I was dealing with a government official who looked quite grumpy when I got to his counter. He was short in his greeting and demanding and demeaning in his tone. I was determined to treat him with the softness and respect I expected from him and so I smiled and spoke softly, gently, with love, and without fear. The man seemed to change in an instant to a benevolent helpful gentleman. It was amazing because the moment my aggressive husband spoke to him the man's demeanor changed and the moment I spoke he softened again. It was as if magic dust was in the air. I love it.

Well it is easier to do with strangers, though, than it is with some people I know. I need to consciously make an effort with them. In these relationships there seem to be too many conditions already in place and changing this will take effort - from my end. Every established relationship outside the one with myself has two major conditions - trust and respect. In all aspects of my relationships with family and friends these two factors are always at play. The moral fabric is what the trust is based on. This could be about speaking the truth, being faithful, about money or any aspect that is important to the relationship. Unless there is complete trust it is impossible to develop respect and without mutual respect a relationship can never be sound. The ups and downs of relationships are conditional upon the trust the two people involved have in all aspects of a relationship.

In a marriage both partners must be true to themselves and with each other. There must be set rules between them about how they will deal with different issues like children, finances, extended family and friends, career, home, religion and more. These rules need not be set in stone but a change in rules must require mutual discussions and consent. A marriage requires a 100 to 100 partnership - both partners giving a 100% of themselves to the relationship. One does not dominate the other, one does not lead the other by a leash. Each partner has their responsibilities for the purpose of convenience and there can and will be crossovers in responsibilities. Spouses can have disagreements and yet have a relationship that only grows in love and respect if only they treat each other the way they would want to be treated by the other. Needling each another, insulting each another, ridiculing each other, being condescending and controlling each other can only end up in a parting of ways. A tragedy that can only be avoided if each is willing to get into the mind of the other and feel their pain, their joy and their love and be willing to trust and respect their feelings. Each partner must be True to themselves, be an embodiment of Love and be fearless of one another, for a marriage to be heavenly. Both have to accept that they are One with the Universe and therefore absolute Bliss is possible between them no matter how different each is in the physical realm.

Between a parent and an adult child too mutual trust and respect is paramount. Unless I can trust and respect my child I cannot expect to be trusted and respected. This trust is not determined by social norms - this trust is about my treatment of my child as an independent individual with a mind of his own. My child is One with the Universe like I am - his beliefs and ways may be different - but his Truth and my Truth is the same and therefore I trust and respect him both as an individual and as a part of the Universal fabric. We do not have to agree about anything and yet the Love we share is comparable to the bliss that I have within the relationship I have with myself.

In a relationship with the Self all that is needed is the acknowledgment that this relationship is unconditional. Truth is not a condition - it is the relationship. My relationship with myself is the fabric of my happiness. When I am true to myself I am happy. My truth may not make anyone else happy but that is immaterial - since the only one that I have to live with till the end of time is myself. Marriages and other relationships may be 'made in heaven' but to keep them heavenly requires effort. My relationship with Me is effortless, personal and absolutely blissful. To hell with the rest of you. Take me as I am or leave me to myself - I ain't compromising anymore. Naive, stupid, too kind, gullible, obese, a snob, spendthrift, stingy, intimidating, any other words that describe me in your vocabulary? Use them if you will - I know I am none of those things - I am what makes me tick - I am Silence, Love, Abundance, Joy, Bliss, Truth, GOD. I am ME.

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