My blood is sweet! I am sweet through and through.
I have been under a homeopath friend for a few months now. She very kindly offered to treat me and I took her up on it. Very few patients can fathom the workings of deep acting homeopathic remedies that may be prescribed a couple of times over the length of treatment. Fortunately for me being a homeopath and understanding the Hahnemannian (my word) philosophy I can see the changes it is bringing on me.
I was given a single dose of a remedy one morning. That day I took a major tumble! All morning I kept having a premonition of falling and when I eventually did, it was a relief. I had bruises, aches and pains for a few days but God bless Arnica and I was back on my feet soon. Being as heavy as I am and seeing how awkwardly I fell it could have been a lot worse.
The next couple of weeks seemed uneventful but soon I felt upset, depressed, sad and was wallowing in self pity. "Poor me. No one cared for me. I am a giver who gets nothing in return...." I love to care for people. It makes me feel good about myself. I am always trying to be a better person and what better way than to be a do-gooder? I of course took it too far outward. I forgot to care for myself. At first all this awareness was painful and it made me wish it had not come upon me - but now I feel freer, lighter and clearer. It feels good to care for myself - to do what I want without feeling guilty or embarrassed or ashamed. I answer to no one but my Self.
That took a couple of weeks of processing and getting back to being my happy self again. I am more aware of myself. The diabetes that has overwhelmed my body comes from a deep seat in my mind. My desperate need to be sweet. To be liked seemed my purpose for most of my life. I was nice, sweet, kind, compassionate not to benefit you but for you to like me. That need to be sweet took over first my mind and then my body. I must get rid of it from my mind for it to leave my body. That is exactly what I plan to do.
I am a perfect human being. I am a kind, compassionate, giving, bright, spiritual light that is in this Universe to serve Its need whichever way It needs to use me. I am also here to receive Grace in whatever form I get. I now get pleasure from being good, honest, compassionate, forgiving, loving, helpful towards myself and others. It is not because you need me but because I enjoy being there for you. If you tell me to leave you alone I will do so with a smile - this is not about you! So I continue to 'do' what I always did - I just do it without a predicate attached to it.
This is liberating and as I write this I can feel my blood clearing up. I am definitely on my way to recovery - insulin and all will soon belong to the past. I can feel it. Thank you Lori for taking me on and helping me not just with the prescription but for listening to me express what my mind and body are constantly whispering to me. I know many of you reading this do not see the homeopathic connection here - but those of you who know better do see it, right?
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